Herbie Vaugh to Carly Simon
Ms Simon, my name's Herbie VaughI thought I'd write to say hello.
You've never heard of me, I know.
But back in 1972
you wrote a song, OK, a few,
but one did rather well for you.
I think you called it 'You're so vain'?
It's not too bad, but then again
it could be better. I'll explain.
Ms Simon, please don't take offence
but when we hold it to the lens
we see this line makes little sense:
"And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner"
The plural 'girls' and pronoun 'they'
are incompatible, I'd say,
with 'partner'. Can we find a way
to fix the logic? 'Partners'? Yes,
but that implies (or so I'd guess)
sequential coupling? That's a mess
and not in line with your intent
(at least with what I hope you meant
unless I've drifted off the scent).
And so, correct me if I'm wrong.
I'm sorry to have talked so long
but wouldn't this improve your song:
"And every girl dreamed that she'd be your partner"
And now, Ms Simon, one last thought:
the phrase 'you watched yourself gavotte' -
You're sure you didn't mean 'cavort' ?
